So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
