yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
