Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
