So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm passing your future prison.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
