She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
What happened to fro yo and sex?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
