one might say we're banned from that church
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
