i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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