I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
