A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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