who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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