Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
