the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
