apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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