that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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