We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
