just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
