i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
