Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
