thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
