I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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