Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
