Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
