And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
