my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
