Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
