some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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