Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
