I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
