We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
