sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
