Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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