Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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