Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
