Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
