she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Randomize
