You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
