I'm jealous of your bromance
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
