I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
