I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
