i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
