I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
