No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
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