Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
