what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Also, beer. Big fan.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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