She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
