i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
