girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
