i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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