apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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