Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
