I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
