Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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